I know it’s been a while.
I had this whole blogging thing down and then Mr. Juris Doctor and I bought a condo and started remodeling it. And by that I’ve been pretty much handling most of it while he is at the office. The result is that my my adulting capacities have been maxed out and every day has been a bit like this couple: fleeting joy crushed by the icy cold waves of terror and helplessness tossing me around like a ragdoll…
I’m going to keep taking each day at a time and hopefully soon get back to my regular blogging schedule. But part of adulting is taking each day at a time, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m here, today. And today, is just a few days before the new year. Impossible and yet somehow true at the same time.
So let’s talk about RESOLUTIONS
As we come up on the new year, you might have asked or been asked the tired old question, “Do you have any resolutions?” I don’t know about you but I’m not a huge fan of the whole “new years resolution” gag.
It’s my experience that they’re ultimately not very helpful.
They’re usually too big (I will to a new city), too negative (I’m fat and will lose weight) or too out of your control (I will find a job I love). Their very nature is overwhelming and exhausting and a great set up for giving up.
Now. This isn’t to say that goals aren’t good. But goals should be as timid, adorable and small as a new born kitten’s steps:
Do you treat yourself and your goals as lovingly as you would this kitten? Please. Don’t even try to pretend you aren’t out there screaming at your poor sad Goal Kitten (how did we get to a Goal Kitten? I did not see that coming when I started this blog post…)
Achieving goals is a process.
Even if you want to move to a new city, lose weight or find a job that you are happy in – that’s a looooong process and you might not know where you are in the process. Just because you’ve identified what you want doesn’t mean you’re ready. Or even, as Anne Lamont says, “ready to be ready.” Yes, you can be that far back that you’re not even ready to be ready.
Or maybe, your goal isn’t really the one you need. Maybe you think the new city, weight loss or job will solve whatever is bothering you, but…that’s just a distraction, a Band-aid for what’s really going on.
And that is where intentions come in.
Look at all your goals and ask yourself:
What PROBLEM will these solve? What is it within yourself that is missing? Boundaries? Joy? Self care? Self awareness? Community? Gentleness? Giving?
Then set your intention to bring more of THAT into your life for the coming year.
Ah haaaa…now the year looks a little different, doesn’t it? Now suddenly you have a rudder to guide you on a vast ocean, rather than a train on a single track.
You may find that by choosing self care instead of losing weight that you begin to make choices that help you lose weight anyway. Or that you’re ready to be ready to start that diet. Or that you can diet from a place of calm rather than desperation.
You may find that by choosing joy instead of a new job that you begin to seek out fun things to do in your off time and your job doesn’t seem so bleak anymore. Or that your newfound sense of joy brings new life to your position and your work environment. Or that your happiness exudes from you during your job interview and they can’t help but hire you.
Do you see the difference? Don’t assume you know the answer to your happiness. Instead give yourself and this crazy Universe the latitude to help you find whatever it is you need by setting big intentions and seeing where they take you.
Now get out there and have a happy new year, you adult!