For many of us, holidays can be a difficult, triggering, emotional, time. So as we enter this landmind of a season, I would like to send you all a very important adulting PSA.


This is true always, but there is something particularly sinister about the holidays that can make us forget that fact. Traditions, expectations, old patterns, family dynamics can make for a real boundary busting experience. But here are a few of the things that you, as an adult, DO NOT HAVE TO DO.

You don’t have to:

  • Go somewhere you don’t want to go
  • Stay somewhere you don’t want to stay
  • Kiss, hug, touch someone you don’t want to
  • Eat something you don’t want to
  • Talk to someone you don’t want to
  • Engage in a topic you don’t want to discuss
  • Hide who you are
  • Pretend to be someone else
  • Take on any expectations from people around you
  • Fit in
  • Be “on”
  • Spend money you don’t have
  • Feel guilty for not doing the things you don’t want to do

That might not be what you’ve been taught but it is the truth. It is your adulting truth. You deserve to have boundaries and to take care of yourself.

Of course, you’ll notice that “be nice” wasn’t on the list. You can have boundaries without being a jerk. You can excuse yourself, disengage, decline without being aggressive, mean spirited or angry. Others might not respond in kind – people hate it when you set boundaries – but guess what? You don’t have to put up with it. Hooray for being an adult!

Ok, here we go and Happy Thanksgiving from the U.S.!